09/16/2007

News / Wading through the process of foreign adoptions

PARRISH --
Little Carlos sought reassurance from his family when a stranger entered the cozy Kingsfield community home.

As the 18-month-old boy became comfortable in the arms of his mother, he began climbing up and down the sofa into the laps of his sister and father.

It's been just over a year since the Ackles family traveled to Guatemala to pick up their adopted son and brother, and it's evident the love and joy he has brought them fills the room.

"It's like he belongs," said Tony Ackles. "Like it was meant to be."

For Tony and Tish Ackles and their daughter, Katie, Aug. 19, 2006, is what is known in adoption circles as "Gotcha Day."

"Gotcha Day is the day that the baby is placed in your arms for forever," said Tish Ackles. "We will celebrate it every year just like his birthday."

The Ackles' journey through the adoption process was as interesting as their trips to Guatemala.

The process took three years, with starts, stops and stumbles along the way, but it was less than six months from the time they were notified there was a baby available to the day they flew home with Carlos.

They started working with an agency about three years ago, looking to adopt a baby born in the United States.

They waited two years before they finally got a match with a birth mother. Then two weeks before the baby was due, the Ackles found out the birth mother was working three other couples.

"It was a scam," Tish Ackles said. "She was collecting money from all of us."

That's when they followed "where our hearts were," adopting a baby from a foreign country.

After the high school sweethearts got married 21 years ago, they tried to have children with fertility drugs for six years.

It didn't seem to be working, so they decided to look into international adoptions, "because back 11 years ago the adoption laws in the United States were not tight and parents were taking their children back," Tony Ackles said.

Then a miracle happened.

"I was not supposed to get pregnant," Tish Ackles said. "The doctor had already said he didn't think the fertility treatments were going to work."

Once Katie was born, they put the idea of adoption on the back burner.

Eventually they decided to try adopting again, at the insistence of Katie, who wanted a baby sister.

After their experience with the domestic adoption scam, the Ackles began researching international adoption agencies and they kept coming across the name of Sue Hedberg and the Celebrate Children International adoption agency in Ovito.

"Sue is so dedicated to getting kids into good homes," Tish Ackles said.

Hedberg got started in adoptions after traveling to Guatemala as a translator for an international agency 10 years ago.

"I saw so many children in need of a home," she said. "I had to do something."

In the 10 years since she started her agency, she has facilitated more than 1,000 adoptions. Besides Guatemala, she helps families adopt children from Taiwan, China, Haiti, Ethiopia and Ukraine.

Hedberg said there is always a need for families.

"I have 36 healthy, waiting newborn boys available for adoption," she said. "Boys are harder to place, because potential parents think they are saving little girls from prostitution."

Although that may be a problem in many foreign countries, Hedberg, like other international adoption agencies, works through dedicated in-country agencies.

A recent news article in The Washington Post reported Guatemala police recently removed 46 children from a home, suspecting they had been kidnapped or coerced from their parents to be put up for foreign adoption.

But Hedberg said the children she works with are cared for from birth until they are adopted by foster families, and a lawyer makes sure all the paperwork is in order.

Jennifer Massie, regional supervisor of LifeLink International Adoptions in Sarasota, said that the foreign countries she deals with are very protective of their children.

"Adoptions in the United States are seen as very mainstream," Massie said, "but put yourself in the Third World mindset, where children are exploited, so they want us to show them the kids are doing well."

Massie, who has been with LifeLink for 12 years, said the adoption process starts with a visit to the adoption agency offices.

"People think adoption is a legal process," she said, "but it's really a social one.

"You have a child coming into a family, so we do some education first."

After they get a feel for the families and which country would fit the needs of that family best, they move to what Florida governmental agencies that regulate adoptions call a home study.

"These are a series of interviews," Massie said. "They're not an interrogation, but a conversation."

She said the home visit is not a "white glove" inspection.

"We want families that can rock and roll with real life," Massie said.

While the interviews are proceeding, the families begin filling out the paperwork.

It's a process so the agencies know the people who are seeking to adopt are who they say they are.

"We want to know that the child will be safe and that the family will be financially secure," Massie said.

The Ackles have a duplicate of their paperwork filed in a 4-inch-thick binder.

Paperwork approval is the final stage of the process. It is where all the paperwork is reviewed for missing or incorrect documents.

"Everyone knows they are going to get kicked out at least once," said Tony Ackles.

After their first filing, the Ackles had to get another document because the one they submitted did not have a proper notarized signature. Their attorney in Guatemala, who used to work in the adoption office in that country, took care of it.

The Ackles made two trips to Guatemala to visit with Carlos before their final trip to take him home.

Tony Ackles would suggest to anyone who is planning to adopt that they do their research.

"There are several books out there on international adoptions," he said. "Go to the library and do your research."

Also, use the Internet, especially the message boards where people who have adopted communicate with each other and offer help and support to those going through the process.

The biggest pitfall for many families, Tony Ackles said, is the emotional drain it can have on you and your family.

"You're turning your life over to somebody else," he said. "You go through the process, then just wait and you don't know what's happening. This was one of the most emotional things we've ever done."

Then there's the financial strain it can have on a family's bank account.

It cost the Ankles $40,000 to adopt Carlos.

Hedberg said some countries can be less expensive, such as an adoption in Haiti, which can run about $12,000.

"But once you get your baby," Tony Ackles said, "it's all worth it."

Carl Mario Nudi, staff reporter covering the city of Palmetto and northern Manatee County, can be reached at 745-7027.

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FAMILY MATTERS
By CARL MARIO NUDI
cnudi@bradenton.com
http://www.bradenton.com/health/story/146055.html

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